this term of endearment is one i cherish. i am honored to have two beautiful boys who call me mom. i hear them utter, shout, whisper, and lovingly say mom many, many times a day. most times, my heart just melts at the thought of the gift i have been given in this role of mothering these adorable boys.
now, when they scream "mom" just preceding the pukes like max did this week, my heart is less melty and more pained at the call to watch my baby suffer through the flu. yet, even then, i am so thankful it is me he wants. (however, i am happy to share this burden with the dada who has also been called before certain vomits)
bear has a cold he has been battling and calls for some comfort in the nighttime from his mom. i am tired and cozy in bed, yet drag myself out to snuggle with the sicky. i hold and comfort him before nestling him back in his crib and finally getting some rest. though his calls for mom might be met with loud sighs from me, i am so grateful it is my arms that provide his security and reassurance.
perhaps some of the reason behind how seriously i take the call to be a mom comes from my own fractured relationship with my mom. she has not been there for me when i call mom, instead, addiction answers. recent events have again brought her sorry fight to the forefront of my mind and life. my heart aches with desire for her to be well, and grief for what we have lost as mother and daughter. the coming days will be filled with additional discussions, professionals, efforts, and tears as we prepare to present her with one last choice for healing.
i praise the lord for his mercy and grace as he demonstrates the full measure of his faithfulness in my life and the life of my mom. i anticipate the day when there will be no more tears and no more hurt from this devestating disease of alcoholism. until that day comes, i fight for my mom and my own health in a world of sin and sickness. i take comfort in knowing i am not alone, but have the power and love of the creator by my side.
"You, my God, open your hand and satisfy the needs of every living thing" psalm 145:6
jesus, i am in need, as is my family, please help us to look to you for satisfaction and peace.
bear has a cold he has been battling and calls for some comfort in the nighttime from his mom. i am tired and cozy in bed, yet drag myself out to snuggle with the sicky. i hold and comfort him before nestling him back in his crib and finally getting some rest. though his calls for mom might be met with loud sighs from me, i am so grateful it is my arms that provide his security and reassurance.
perhaps some of the reason behind how seriously i take the call to be a mom comes from my own fractured relationship with my mom. she has not been there for me when i call mom, instead, addiction answers. recent events have again brought her sorry fight to the forefront of my mind and life. my heart aches with desire for her to be well, and grief for what we have lost as mother and daughter. the coming days will be filled with additional discussions, professionals, efforts, and tears as we prepare to present her with one last choice for healing.
i praise the lord for his mercy and grace as he demonstrates the full measure of his faithfulness in my life and the life of my mom. i anticipate the day when there will be no more tears and no more hurt from this devestating disease of alcoholism. until that day comes, i fight for my mom and my own health in a world of sin and sickness. i take comfort in knowing i am not alone, but have the power and love of the creator by my side.
"You, my God, open your hand and satisfy the needs of every living thing" psalm 145:6
jesus, i am in need, as is my family, please help us to look to you for satisfaction and peace.
Praying for you right now my sweet friend. Rest in the Lords arms as I know you are seeking Him right now. You are an AMAZING MOM Lynds. How blessed Bear and Max are to be able to call you thier MOM.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear the Meiste house is dealing with sickness again! We have a cold floating around, but overall we've had it easy this year.
ReplyDeletePraying for comfort and strength as you deal with your mom. God has a plan, even in this- you are an awesome mom to your two boys and baby to be!
Love you!
i'll be praying for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteLyndsey....you are a gifted communicator! What a gift for the rest of us to share your journey and reflections! God continues to work on your and your families behalf and even though we cannot see (physically) he is waging an unseen battle on your behalf and your moms!
ReplyDelete"In this world you will have trouble...but take heart...I have overcome the world!"
Love you Lyndsey!