suppertime at our house is loud. and wild. and chaotic. it is super fun and there is laughter and stories and sometimes tears, but it is definitely always loud. as soon as brad arrives home from work, the boys launch into stage 5 of excitement and anticipation, screeching, running, etc. from that moment on, when brad leaves the house for any reason, including to grill our pork steaks, the boys then plunge into the stages of grief. anger, depression, sobbing, etc. last night, brad and i were optimistic to attempt conversations in the midst of his coming and going to grill, the boys' roller coaster of emotions, and my final preparations involving cheesy potatoes and biscuits. right around this time maxer decided to make us all some kool-aid as a refreshing beverage to go with our supper. so, i am attempting to tell brad about bear's recent potty accomplishments/making biscuits/asking maxer to be patient with the kool-aid, brad is grilling/listening/comforting the crazy boys, maxer is wielding a large scissors/pulling up a stool to the sink/spilling kool-aid powder on the kitchen floor, and weston is crying for the scissors/pulling his own stool/loud. wow
once everything was on the table, things did quiet slightly. mouths were busy chewing and drinking, so we had that working to our advantage. both boys finished their meals in 3.2 seconds and were off to play in the living room. i began clearing the table and brad started up the mower. maxer and weston then fought for the coveted spot on brads lap while i made herculean efforts to intervene in the boy left waiting's sorrow.
the evening ended in a movie night all snuggled together in our bed. we successfully got everyone to sleep despite the raging storm outside and finally settled down to sleep ourselves. unbelievabley loud claps of thunder and cracks of lightening kept us awake talking baby names and tornadoes. suddenly at 12:00 all was silent. though the storm continued, the house was quiet and without power. even with the diminished rain and lightening and thunder, we could not sleep for the overwhelming and deafening SILENCE.
we are surrounded by noise, lots of noise, all day every day and even into the night. silence is uncomfortable and unfamiliar to us, yet this is what god calls us to in order to hear his voice. "Search your hearts and be silent" Psalm 4:4. brad pointed out the sadness of a life so full of noise and distraction we cannot even sleep in the silence. rob bell has an awesome nooma on this very subject, so provocative and challenging to me. what if i gave god the opportunity to really speak into my life instead of drown him out in my complaining about problems, busyness with life, and noise in general.
thank you jesus for the reminder of our desperate need for quiet where your still small voice is heard instead of the noise of our hectic lives.