9 months preggers

wow, 9 months is a long time. almost a year really. so many minutes spent picturing the possibilities of this babe, so many prayers sent pleading for a healthy pregnancy and baby in due time, and so much anticipation for the day of baby's arrival. though the pic does not really do my massive belly justice, brad was not in the mood to photograph, i am huge. at least i feel huge. while at the beach last night i could not stop thinking that the public was laughing at my very impressive impression of a beached whale.

37 weeks is considered full term. i am so there. until i remember the labor part of it, then i can wait another day. until i remember the newborn part and then i am ready to self-induce once more. remember the hormones are really pumping now so it is completely understandable to have this extreme back and forth of feelings ;)

for real, i miss brad and me not pregnant. things are just different when a girl really has a severe lack of control over emotions and is uncomfortable much of the time. brad is super supportive and encouraging, and he is grateful we are nearing the end. i feel less like a teammate to my hubby and more like a slow moving drain.

with all those whinings being written, i must also say that i am completely aware of what a blessing it is to be at this point in my pregnancy with a healthy baby. i so adore feeling babe move. i love that my attention to maxer and bear is only halved and not reduced into thirds yet. shamefully, i admit i love the attention i get while at work or play with this huge belly. having strangers get all caught up in the excitement of a baby reminds me of the gift pregnancy and babies really are.

camping this week will be a beautiful distraction from my intense desire to meet baby #3. the relaxing environment will absorb my lack of motivation and energy, the people will provide plenty of entertainment and support, and my boys will be sure to keep me busy enough for the days to keep right on tickin by.

noise

suppertime at our house is loud. and wild. and chaotic. it is super fun and there is laughter and stories and sometimes tears, but it is definitely always loud. as soon as brad arrives home from work, the boys launch into stage 5 of excitement and anticipation, screeching, running, etc. from that moment on, when brad leaves the house for any reason, including to grill our pork steaks, the boys then plunge into the stages of grief. anger, depression, sobbing, etc. last night, brad and i were optimistic to attempt conversations in the midst of his coming and going to grill, the boys' roller coaster of emotions, and my final preparations involving cheesy potatoes and biscuits. right around this time maxer decided to make us all some kool-aid as a refreshing beverage to go with our supper. so, i am attempting to tell brad about bear's recent potty accomplishments/making biscuits/asking maxer to be patient with the kool-aid, brad is grilling/listening/comforting the crazy boys, maxer is wielding a large scissors/pulling up a stool to the sink/spilling kool-aid powder on the kitchen floor, and weston is crying for the scissors/pulling his own stool/loud. wow

once everything was on the table, things did quiet slightly. mouths were busy chewing and drinking, so we had that working to our advantage. both boys finished their meals in 3.2 seconds and were off to play in the living room. i began clearing the table and brad started up the mower. maxer and weston then fought for the coveted spot on brads lap while i made herculean efforts to intervene in the boy left waiting's sorrow.

the evening ended in a movie night all snuggled together in our bed. we successfully got everyone to sleep despite the raging storm outside and finally settled down to sleep ourselves. unbelievabley loud claps of thunder and cracks of lightening kept us awake talking baby names and tornadoes. suddenly at 12:00 all was silent. though the storm continued, the house was quiet and without power. even with the diminished rain and lightening and thunder, we could not sleep for the overwhelming and deafening SILENCE.

we are surrounded by noise, lots of noise, all day every day and even into the night. silence is uncomfortable and unfamiliar to us, yet this is what god calls us to in order to hear his voice. "Search your hearts and be silent" Psalm 4:4. brad pointed out the sadness of a life so full of noise and distraction we cannot even sleep in the silence. rob bell has an awesome nooma on this very subject, so provocative and challenging to me. what if i gave god the opportunity to really speak into my life instead of drown him out in my complaining about problems, busyness with life, and noise in general.

thank you jesus for the reminder of our desperate need for quiet where your still small voice is heard instead of the noise of our hectic lives.

kels is home

i am so very proud of my littlest sis kelstastic right now. she made it home yesterday from a super intense spiritual and physically exhausting journey through the mountains in wyoming. though i prayed faithfully for her safe return, seeing her and hugging her were so rewarding. last night we reunited at logan's and she regaled us with stories of heartache, and beauty in the wilderness, and new friends, and spiritual growth. i am so blessed by this sis.

my boys were less content about hearing all about kels' journey. they typically command the center of attention, and being in public does nothing to slow their roll. brad has golf league on monday nights which now includes a few holes before and after league, so he was out. so i loaded up my cute kids and several toys. the entire drive max persistently asked if i would be leaving him at logans. like abandoning him at the restaurant and jetting. after countless reassurances, and loading the veen with pillows, blankies, and puppies to comfort him, i think he started to believe me. nonetheless, once we arrived, both boys were glued to my side. i love my boys and love holding them and being with them, however, i could scarcely move with a child clinging to my either side and one growing in my belly.

our waitress was a sweet friend from school and amidst her comments on how darling my boys and belly were, and her attempts at assisting the crabby and seemingly frightened children, whining and clinging were at an all time high. both boys are intimidated by strangers, and most every person who is not me, so everyone's assistance was causing more drama. enter the drunken dudes at the table nearest us. after asking the boys' names and calling max matt, they hailed the local animal balloon maker to come to the table and entertain the stricken boys. the addition of another stranger, this one yielding balloons and other tools again caused more drama. however, once he began to form maxer's piggy, both boys calmed down and watched attentively. wes was throwing a fit on my diaper bag on the floor, and max was witnessing the event from my lap. meanwhile our waitress jillian stood by either unable to turn away or waiting to take our order, i am really still unsure.

in addition to making balloon animals this talented fellow also performed card tricks. really elaborate count four cards then flip one over, split the deck and turn face up, space out all the aces card tricks. my dad was engaged in these tricks, until he finally thanked the magician several times and told him repeatedly last trick. since i knew what i wanted from the second kels suggested logans, we were able to order real promptly and contain the boys who would not keep their shoes on for several minutes until said food arrived. then we inhaled the delish food, looked at kels' pics, and took turns taking the boys for walks around the restaurant.

i am quite sure it was enough to make kels run for the solitude of wyoming once again.

camping adventures number 3

another week has gone by living the life of luxury in our camper over at hungry horse. wow do those weeks fly so quickly! the boys and i had an amazing time together playing at parks, digging holes, going for walks/bike rides, going swimming, and bonding in the air conditioned bliss of the camper.

most notable in this last trip may have been the crazy number of mosquitoes. seriously, they were everywhere and in ridiculous numbers. after night one, bear had at least 20 bites on his forehead/hairline. oh the poor baby. somehow i lack the knack for applying sunblock and bugspray without getting it in my boys' eyes because they frequently needed breaks in the camper to allow for healing in the stinging eye department. so sorry boys. they were fighters though when it came time to lube up! though it seems impossible to believe, i think we may have gotten sort of used to the bugs by the end of the trip, or maybe the mosquitoes focused on the fresh blood of new campers. thank you hungry horse for the fogging that happened only twice, but did provide some relief. i literally stood up in the fog and tried to bathe my whole body in the repellent.

hungry horse features a delightful collection of two pools, wading and regular. after max's excellent experience with swim lessons, he was a master at jumping in and getting his face wet. brad and i spent many an evening catching boy after boy and assisting them to the side. bear will not wait for the ready go, he merely stands on the edge screaming "jump" and "mom where are you" and then plunges in. a couple times i just really could not get there fast enough, and desiring to put a little fear into the wild man, i let him go under...far. this scare tactic resulted only in more jumps and no fear.

the campground is apparently utilizing a new chemical system for their pools. a side effect of this alteration is a salty taste of water. let me just be frank, the pool tasted like sweat. and with all the bathers, who were really hot in the 90 degree weather, i had a real difficult time convincing my gag reflex that the taste was in fact chemical and not sweat from gross strangers. eew.

one more fun fact, then i must get groceries as the boys are currently eating blow pop suckers for breakfast... maxer met a new friend. friends are what make camping especially enjoyable, the community of peeps you adore doing life together all day every day. love it. so maxer typically stays and plays only with the peeps he knows. however, little nathan became a fast friend with his john deere dump truck and all. at first they did not so much play together as take turns playing with the dump truck. but before the day was out, nathan could be found huddled by us at our camper playing in the mud. hooray to max for making friends with a boy.

now the need to depart from the internet is great: maxer is pooping, bear lost his sucker, and both are pleading to go camping again in a few minutes. welcome home!!

27

i love birthdays. especially my own. i know i should be mature enough or humble enough to at least act like i dont so enjoy celebrating me, but i really adore my birthday. so yesterday was such a beautiful day of turning 27. so far, i love being 27. though it is frightening close to 30, i feel good about this current age and state of life.

my man and boys ensured that my birthday was super special. brad brought me mcdonalds in bed for breakfast. what a combo, it literally does not get better in my world. i so consider mcdonalds my fave restaurant and i consider bed my fave place to be :)

the boys and i got to play all day together, outside and inside. they were darling and fun and i remained focused on them and not so much the house. swim lessons went well, and i certainly find the other mama's there simply fabulous, their company is just so welcome.

brad whisked the boys and i to logans for dinner during which the boys threw peanut shells with gusto and even ate a few bites of their nuggets and fries. i indulged in cherry coke, catfish, and a sweet potato. delish. we then ventured to kohls where i purchased a baby girl and baby boy outfit for the impending arrival of this rib-expanding little precious, as well as a slip n slide for the boys. after that, we headed to tractor supply to purchase some wood pellets for the winter, and finished the evening at coldstone creamery.

thank you to my sweet family for making my day so special. the good news is the best parts of my birthday continue every day, i get to spend most of my time with the peeps i love the most in the world.

the gifts of motherhood

i love my kids. seriously, unconditionally, fully. i dole out numerous hugs, kisses, and words of encouragement/adoration to my two presh boys. they know they are loved.



good news, they love me back! lots. i do get plenty of hugs and kisses, but i also get some very beautiful gifts from time to time.



with the summer weather and plethora of flowers available, the boys remember their mama and often pick some pretty bouquets for me. dandelions, daisies, even flowers purposely planted in flowerpots are all fair game to these thoughtful sons of mine. they both get this look of pride and accomplishment as they walk over to me with hands full. max always bellows, "mom, i got a surprise for you!" as he runs toward me hands hidden behind his back. when i tell him what a nice boy he is and how very much i love him he answers "yes". weston's method is to find a flower, pick it, and then repeat the word flower, flower, flower, until he reaches me with outstretched hands. thank you bear!



my most recent treasure prompted this post. maxer comes downstairs this morning and presents me with... a drawer knob. the part that you pull to open up a drawer. this came off of one of the drawers in the playroom where it was operating properly. so he must have spotted the knob, dismantled it, and somehow thought of me in the process. after his presentation i sweetly asked him what he thought it was. he did not speak, but continued smiling the smile of satisfaction. i must have just set it down on the nearest surface and went on with my day, for not to long later, maxer comes to me again holding the knob and saying "here mom, this is for you".



currently i am displaying the knob on my counter and cherishing this gift. so random, yet heartfelt and appreciated nonetheless.



one of my very fave parts of motherhood are the many blessings i receive from my boys, not the least of which is a knob.

because we are boys

one of our fave things about farm life is the ability to frequently utilize the mule. warm weather just increases the opportunity to cruise around the farm and surrounding areas in search of good corn, to check on water levels, and my personal fave, to visit with neighbors. the boys adore riding around and request such adventures often. last night we headed out after supper to witness the first corn plant to tassel in our fields. way exciting and way early, the first of july! as we were bumping along the grass waterways, we also spotted two deer! maxer was completely impressed and bear even spotted them as they ran away.

we wrapped up our expedition by doing a little mud running in the yard, getting ever closer to being forever stuck in a large pit of nasty mud. both, i mean all three, boys were yelling with delight and remarking on the coolness watching hunks of mud fling up and over and on the mule and its occupants. all the while, bear possessed this tendency to pick brad's arm hair while brad was driving the mule, so funny. though i was enjoying being all together as a fam, the jostling and dirt and bumping were not really working for me after a while. i had one arm encircling my belly for added support and the other gripping the mule for dear life.

after about the 15th pass i said to brad, "why are we doing this?"

he responded, "because we are boys. and it's awesome!"

i dismounted the mule and opted for a lawn chair from which to watch my boys play in the mud. brad was right. it was awesome. :)