on saturday, we went christmas shopping. perhaps that sounds more involved than the actual activity. we literally loaded the veen and headed to target to buy each and every present save for a couple randoms i ordered online. we were armed with some giftcards earned via brads credit card, a teermans christmas bonus, and my teermans paycheck.
yes all three adorables were along.
the experience was intense. it was festive. it was expensive. it was successful. and it was anxiety inducing.
i seriously adore my babes and husband with everything i have. i desire the very best for them in every aspect of life. somehow, at christmas, this desire morphs into buying into the concept that more is better. maxer likes remote controls, i want to give him every one they make. bear is fascinated with cheetahs, i want to buy a real one and keep him out back. ayla jo is a girl, so i want a wardrobe for her complete with lace and pink and frills.
there is always more and better things.
this feeling of desperation to fulfill my children's every want and blow them away with even more THINGS is in direct juxtaposition to what christmas really celebrates.
the birth of our saviour.
to a virgin. in a manger. ultimate humility. ultimate sacrifice.
and the ultimate gift. redemption.
that is more than enough. my heart pounds with gratefulness and shame. i am so thankful for all baby jesus' birth represents. and so so sorry that i so easily slip into our society's distracting and commercialized version of an act of love so incredible it is beyond my comprehension.
other kids will get more toys this christmas. but mine will get enough. so i put back a pink princess chair for baby blue, a garbage truck reminiscent of toy story 3 for bear, and a set of lincoln logs for maxer. and i read my cuties luke 2 this morning and hid a baby jesus in a manger for them to seek like wisemen. and i prayed that the lord help me with my unbelief, that he overwhelms my heart with knowledge that He. is. enough.