overwhelmed

every so often, i am presented with the opportunity to really appreciate.



even more rarely, i seize that chance.



yesterday was another day full. we were busy with our lives of playing and learning and laughing and loving. in the midst of it all, i attempted to organize some baby clothes we have outgrown. what a project it was! literally, i was dizzy from sorting and searching and cramming. yet, each baby outfit was a beautiful memory. baptism, camping trips, pictures taken, birthday parties, gifts given on the day the baby arrived, illnesses overcome, first steps, etc. as i lugged bags and boxes and totes up and down the stairs yesterday, i thanked the lord for the miracle of these precious lives he has given me to mother. each moment with maxwell, weston and ayla is truly miraculous and cherished. i recognize in my children grace, there is nothing i could have done to earn such a gift, no way i could live up to the mommy they deserve. yet they are mine, and i will delight in them while praising my god for their presence in my life.



perhaps because i was focused on the boys' clothes, the lord gave me ample time last night to experience and appreciate sweet baby ayla. we spent some time together in the middle of the night. quite time where i just held her close and watched her sleep soundly (well, not that soundly, there was a reason we were up in the middle of the night :)) in my arms. every breath a gift, every cuddle a blessing.



unfortunately, mystery diagnosis was on the oprah winfrey network, so our time together was elongated so i could watch the end of the show and see that baby julie did in fact survive her auto immune disease the dr's were baffled about. life tip, just turn the channel if you are nursing your babe in the middle of the night and happen to see this show. because falling back to sleep is not so easy once you consider all the crazy things that can happen to a seemingly healthy child. anywho, that is part of the gift. tomorrow is promised to no man, yet it came to us again this morning. may i live this day and this life with full appreciation of that fact.



parenting is made all the more wondrous when i hold fiercely to this promise in jude 24 "unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy". i am not in this alone. he will be my guide, my salvation. he will redeem my mistakes in motherhood and life.



hallelujah