little critters

we have a way of collecting animals around here. i mean the pigs are intentional, but we also have an assortment of dogs, cats, and now a little ladybug.

You can clearly see from max's face that he is absolutely delighted with the little guy. We spent the entire day with his new pet, who he named "ladybug". (obviously he has my creativity...) were it not for max's beautiful adoration of ladybug, the bug would not have lasted for long. personally, i really love people, but not really any other living thing. that may seem harsh, and i do enjoy eating other living things like various plants and animals, but bugs and other creepies i despise. ladybug sure is grateful max found it and not me.

maxer diligently collected those various crumbs to feed his friend. i use the term crumbs only to make myself feel better for those large hunks of food were found on my living room floor. eew. they are so big, the crumbs are practically crushing ladybug, but still, not whole chips.

later, we built a park for ladybug out of play doh. let me just say, ladybug's life was forever changed. and so was maxwell's.

*** update: since this post has been written, ladybug found a new residence in the garbage. even more crumbs :)

Mr. Wayne

one of the bonuses of living on a farm is the feed truck. at least once a week, a large hamilton farm bureau truck rolls into the driveway to deliver food for the pigs. maxwell and bear get real excited to see this. during the winter months, they respond to my yelling of "here comes the feed truck" by climbing up onto the window seat and pressing themselves to the window in order to watch. in the summertime, we occasionally watch the feed truck position itself at the feed bins and dump all that corny goodness. the boys and i find the whole process captivating.



mr. wayne is the man behind the wheel of the feed truck. he is always ready with a smile and a wave. once, he even came to our rescue on a sat. i made him some bread as a thank you and an apology. he was really gracious.



so on tuesday brad came home with a present. he announced to the boys it was for them, and tho i was only slightly disappointed it was not for me, my happiness for the boys was solid and grew even when brad told us it was from mr wayne. inside were two coloring books and a new pack of crayons. that sweet man! i love our boys, and when someone else does an act of love like this, it just warms my heart. we sure are blessed!

thank you jesus we can go camping

each and every prayer, max utters this phrase in his head-nodding, eyes closed tight way. we have not gone camping since last fall, but clearly we made some lasting impressions on the little man. thus, on sunday, we loaded the veen, and headed for grand rapids for the rv expo.

as we entered the city of grand rapids, maxer's eyes opened wide and he asked us "where are we?" yeah, we really dont get out much :) we explained that we arrived grand rapid. the parking garage was another exciting adventure. "i like this" max said.

we were joined by our great friends the nyhofs and boy did those kids have a good time. wes joined in full force. they were all tearing through those beautiful campers faster than we could keep up, squealing with delight. we parents were delighted also, it was so interesting to see all the innovative features; my fave was an outdoor kitchen!

when the kids started to get a little restless, i whipped out some suckers which seemed like a great idea until i noticed the sticky and vibrant stain they leave behind on $300,000 motor home upholstery. things started to get a little out of hand when max climbed right onto the driver seat of a super nice motor home and began honking the horn. inside devos. i bolted right out of that rv and ran into brad who reminded me that hellion was my child and i was responsible for stopping that honking. oh yeah. i grabbed maxer man and headed to the next aisle hoping no one would notice it was we who blared the horn. alas, a couple caught called me out on the honking boy and i merely distracted them with some made up story about how he learned the honking from brad's driving or something. sorry brad, that was not true i just panicked!

the fake fire really captivated the kids. they could not leave their hands off it, oh well, better the fake stuff than the real!!

there was lots of reminiscing of camping trips gone by and anticipation for camping trips to come. we all left excited about our own campers and much relieved they are already a little used and abused because in a short time our kids have a way of making themselves at home; and our home is usually in a state of destruction of some sort or another. we like it that way.

Daddy's Play Differently

as i type, maxwell and bear are playing with rice on the table. i have them nicely set up with pots and pans, utensils, and tractors to move the rice around, make piles, plow through, farm, etc. they are both content and i am online. no small feat

we have lots of fun, the boys and i. however, when 4 o'clock rolls around and max "thinks i hears something", the boys sprint to the back door anticipating "da da".

when i arrive home, max typically greets me with "my daddy is home and my daddy is really strong". thanks max, i missed you to.

then this happened last night:

and i was reminded that daddys play differently than us moms. daddys play hard, and play usually results in injury, but the kids love it. and i love it. i love the stories, the cuddles, the hide and seek, rice play, and everything else i do with the boys; but i am not crazy about the whole being wrestled to the ground, jumped on, and ridden aspect. so i happily relinquish that to my baby daddy.

we make a good team, me and brad.

No Wait

this happens when bear is ready for a bath before i am ready to give it to him. you'd think i would learn from this experience and keep the bathroom door shut. you would be wrong.

the child has no wait in him.

thankfully he has lots of cute in him.

Such Love

i fall way short of the mom/wife that i desire to be. my boys, all my boys, including brad, deserve better in my opinion. someone better at keeping the house clean, better at making delish meals, better at coming up with creative and fun things to do, better at living the Word, just better.



there are examples of these better people all throughout my life. i tend to choose friends that i adore and admire because of their beautiful qualities. so my closest peeps are the most generous, thoughtful, loving, mothers and wives around. keep that in mind besties who are reading this right now!



regardless of all these feelings of inadequacy, i am so loved. i thank the Lord for the reminders my boys give me of their appreciation and love for me. every day, usually several times a day, maxwell brings me this flower off of this little shelf. it is the absolute cutest thing. he will grab a long toy or broom and knock it down, then bring it to me saying, "here mommy, i got this for you"



i melt.



brad works 6 days a week every week so that i can stay home and raise these beautiful boys. though it is a job he enjoys, i know where he would rather be. when he does arrive at home, finally, he ensures the corn stove is filled, settles for less than the best meals, and plays hard with his sons. yes, he is full of jokes and fun, and i appreciate so how he loves me each and every day.

i rest in the knowledge of this love. i may never be enough in my own mind, but it seems i am enough for the great love of my husband and kids. i know i am enough for the creator of the world to die for me, and that is incomprehensible, undeserved, and so so awesome. instead of focusing on the ways i fall short, i choose to focus on the love.