the burn victim

this seriously makes my stomach turn to even write. 

our memorial day started off beautifullly with a parade and candy and a family lunch at my sister's.  the adorables scarfed their hot dogs down quick and then preceded to go downstairs to play.  i was just getting out the cookies and cream trifle i brought for dessert when i heard a really bad cry coming from downstairs. 

ayla jo was screaming and my heart stopped.  i ran down the steps to find the boys frantically trying to turn off the treadmill she was stuck under.  her hands were caught in bottom of the treadmill, between the tread and the plastic part the treadmill sits on.  i panicked and pulled at her hands but they were very much stuck.  i stopped the treadmill and tried again to wrench her hands free. 

they came out, but were badly injured.  her left hand had burns on three fingers, and her right hand was shaved down to the bone.  worst feeling ever.  we tried to calm her down but she was in unbearable pain. a quick peek assured everyone we needed to go to the emergency room.  brad sped faster than ever before as i cried alongside my baby in the back.  cupcake was writhing in pain, gagging and hysterical. 

we arrived soon and the dr's promptly assessed the damage, administered some lortab elixir (liquid vicodin) and wrapped my daughters hands up to her upper arm.  then we had x rays to confirm that no bones were broken.  brad and i were so proud of our prinpress, and so broken that her injuries were so severe.  as we waited to hear from the burn clinic, as her owies were considered third degree burns, i cried out of guilt for allowing that to happen and sorrow that this will be a long process of healing taking away lots of her favorite activities linvolving sand and water and fear of how this will affect her longterm in terms of scarring and range of motion in her hands.

just as i was soaking my 5th paper towel with tears, and cupcake was fully in her semi-drunken state due to the meds telling us we need to get back to auntie beans and uncle austin, the dr walked back in with the discharge instructions to keep her burns wrapped and report to the burn clinic when the opened on wed.  we celebrated the fact that the regional clinic was in gr and i did not have to travel to detriot, but lamented the 2 day wait for an appointment.  we left feeling grateful our daughter had no broken fingers or missing fingers and a huge weight of caring responsibley for our burned baby. 

i called my fam while brad picked up the perscriptions and managed to communicate a bit through my tears.  i also called jessica klein because i needed some mama love.  the next two days were full of pain and frustration in keeping aylaroo bandaged and content.  i relied a lot on my little pony movies and mostly on the strength of the lord.  i carried my bible everywhere as i constantly tried to assure ayla jo was as comfortable as possible.  satan began an intense attack on my thoughts, waking me in the night with fears of infection and amputation. 

i burst into tears whenever we went anywhere, like to pick max up from school and everyone asked what happened to my little girl and i had to tell them.  that came in handy when a grandma at sandy view mentioned she used to wrap all kinds of burns in the er when she worked as a nurse.  5 minutes later she was at my kitchen table assisting the hysterical little love with her bandages.  ayla adapted quite well, sucking her food in like a vacuum so i did not need to feed her each bite.

i so badly wanted to utilize this terrible injury to teach ayla she can overcome huge and painful setbacks because jesus is on her side.  but i found myself overwhelmed and exhausted.  when wednesday finally arrived, brad and i set out for the burn clinic.  i told brad i wanted to pray before we went inside, but couldnt find words so he prayed over ayla and the situation. 
we were so impressed at the clinic.  one nurse's entire job was to entertain ayla jo and help her understand what was happening.  the room filled quickly with a dr, an occupational therapist, a nurse to change the dressings and a nurse translating everything for us.  dr lovell was quite sure no skin grafting was necessary.  hallelujah.  he assured us hands heal super fast and ayla's age will work in her advantage.  the nurses carefully taught us how to care for our prinpress and sent us on our way equipped.  what a beautiful feeling. 

i even had time to make it to maxer's celebration of learning at kindergarten.  adorable.

saturday night, bear bear had a bad spill on his bike resulting in his handlebars falling right on top of his big toe and cracking his nail.  ouch.  he was super upset.  brad took him inside to comfort him and bear told brad that his injury was much worse than ayla's because he cried a lot louder and that is how you tell.  clearly, he has not been getting enuf attention...

since wednesday, we have been back to the clinic once more.  her hands are healing.  we are so grateful and recognize the work of the great physician in our lives.  ayla jo is still all wrapped up but is not letting that get her down.  during bathtime and dressing change last night brad and i had tears in our eyes seeing the progress.  ayla said "uh huh!  jesus been helping me!" yes He has.

whenever ayla needs her wraps changed she is terrified.  now i can hear her saying jesus over and over, mimicking the prayer i uttered in the emergency room when all i could do was call on his name.  for there is power in that name, and he is enough.